Love Island is the web’s present obsession. The favored actuality present follows contestants who come on an island looking for love and a hefty wad of money. They meet one another, type “connections”, couple up, uncouple as soon as they really feel like that connection has switched to Glo or Spectranet, and re-couple with a quickness. There’s quite a lot of drama and tears, so sometimes, I’m into it as effectively.
I attempted to image what it will appear to be in Nigeria and I’ve now concluded it’ll by no means work right here. Why?
Which Island?
No, however let’s be actual, which Island do they wish to host Love Island? Ilashe? La Campagne Tropicana? The mosquitoes that can end the contestants are nonetheless doing press up.
Nigerians will decide anybody in pant and bra
At the very least on Massive Brother Naija, they put on precise garments every now and then. On Love Island, the ladies are continuously in bikinis and the boys in ashewo shorts. This gained’t sit effectively with our Nigerian viewers as a result of the present is giving sin and destruction. I can already see all of the WhatsApp BC mummies and daddies will share and I’m pressured.
Think about telling a Nigerian, “Can I pull you in for a chat?”
What do you wish to chat to me about? Crypto has refused to rise from the lifeless and now we have grandpas operating for president. My pricey, there’s nothing to talk about. Nigerians have zero endurance for the chitchat Love Island contestants are at all times seeking to have. No, Bisola, I don’t care the place your head’s at. Go away me alone.
Nigerians will vote for the brokest individual with the saddest sob story
Nigerians love a great grass-to-grace story. The couple that win should’ve had a tough life trekking from Mile 2 to Lekki Section One with their twin siblings on their again looking for garri. We’ll most probably vote for the man that was curved by one taking place babe, in order that when he makes it, she will look on and say, “Had I identified?’
In the event you don’t imagine me, assume again to Whitemoney and Efe from Massive Brother Nigeria.
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One or two of the boys will likely be married with secret twins
In the event you assume Dami is a Yoruba demon, simply know that the “demonry” that man is exhibiting has been diluted with Irish beer. You may belief that the boys on the Nigerian model of Love Island would have like two or three wives throughout totally different geopolitical zones, however nonetheless land on the island to spin a thick internet of lies.
Nigerian males <<<
Strip tease? Not on Nigerian TV abeg
Stripping on nationwide TV? Who will marry you now that the entire world has seen your nakedness?
Nigerian solar is just too scorching to be lounging outdoors anyhow
Think about attempting to play love in Tarkwa Bay below Lagos solar for weeks.
Not even sunscreen with SPF of 250 can prevent. Whereas an enormous a part of Love Island sees the contestants getting cute tans by the pool, our solar will simply sprint all of the contestants sunburn and warmth rashes. Vitamin D doesn’t exist in Nigeria, now we have vitamin sufferhead.
A bit of little bit of slut-shaming right here and there
The blokes on the UK present are already slutshaming ladies like Tasha for merely displaying curiosity in one other man. Now, think about a actuality present in Nigeria the place ladies not solely have their alternative of males, however they’re really allowed to decide on and alter boyfriends. Nigerian males will lose their shit and name them totally different names, whereas doing the identical issues these ladies are doing.
Nigerian authorities will push to ban the present
Love Island in the identical Nigeria the place they banned Twitter and virtually banned Massive Brother and turbines (this has nothing to do with something, however you get the gist). I can already image Lai Mohammed tying his gele of lies to present a press convention on how Love Island Nigeria is the rationale behind elevated crime fee, gas shortage and the depreciation of the naira.
Re-coupling up and down
Loyalty is one factor that drives Love Island. Contestants go in, couple up and most instances do their finest to keep up that coupling. However in Nigeria, OYO is everybody’s center title. Think about presenting us with all these choices and anticipating us to stay with one boy or woman from starting to finish. Not doable, pricey. Nigerians will change companions like they’re sharing cutlery.
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